Layers of junk

As I become more and more aware of my inner world, I am finding my difficulties are increasing. Earlier, it was easier for me to distract myself from my thoughts and feelings that used to disturb me. It was easy to just brush them away and suppress them. I did not know that I had other options. But once I understood the path of awareness, I found out that by doing the easy thing, I was only creating more trouble for myself. Where is the thought or the feeling going to go? It was only going deeper within me into my unconscious. And as that repository kept filling up, it started taking more and more effort to push things down and keep them down. Becoming more and more aware of them, even though much more difficult and uncomfortable than suppressing them, was the best thing that could have happened to me.

The way I look at it is we are born as a no-mind. Pure, unadulterated, virgin. And as we grow up, just like how a traveller collects dust, we started covering our true nature with junk. Every time you repress your emotions, you add more layers of junk on your true Self. The only way to clear out the junk, the only way to uncover your center, the source of your happiness and peace, is to travel towards it through all the layers of junk. It can only be done by and with awareness. It is not a doing actually, it is just opening your eyes and shining the light of your being within. The junk just melts away. The junk can only sustain in darkness. Once the light of your awareness falls on it, it just dissolves. You understand the true nature of your reality! All that junk was just an illusion that was held together because of your unconsciousness.