Are They Asking For My Opinion?

Being conscious of this one small thing can help you improve your relationships and help you save a lot of your energy.

Next time you are in a conversation with someone and they are speaking, just be present and notice. When they are stating a fact, or when they are saying something that you do not agree with, ask yourself: Is that an invitation for you to give your opinion? Are they actually asking for your opinion? Are they actually asking for your response?

If you are a little bit more conscious, you will notice that most of the time when someone is talking to you, they are not looking for your response. They are not looking for your advice or your opinion. They are just sharing.

But what do we do? We hear something that we do not agree with, and we start giving our own opinions. We start giving advice, and this starts leading to an argument because the person is not open to listening to something new. They are not even looking to change their ideas, or to have a new opinion, or to have fresh ideas. They’re not looking for it. There’s nothing wrong with it, but if you force your opinions onto this person who is not even open, two things happen: One, it is going to cause a lot of conflict. And two, you are going to waste a lot of your energy. If someone is not open and they have not asked for your opinion, but you keep on giving it, you are wasting your energy because they are not there to receive it.

They just want to share. And if you are just a little bit more conscious, in the next conversation you have with your loved one, with your friends, or with your family, just notice: Are they actually asking for my opinion?